My name is Jim, and I am a wallower. Yes, Wallowing is my trade.  I am a wallower.  My name is Jim the wallower, I contemplate, vacillate, and engage in wallowing. 

 In fact, lately, I’ve been wallowing to the obliviousness of all around me.  Occasionally at least.  I suppose I’m not much different from everyone else out there in that regard.  Some call it a funk, some call it a midlife crisis, call it what you will, but it’s where I’ve been lately in relation to my creative endeavors.  Be it writing, maintenance of the podcast, podcasting itself, recording of content, journaling, you name it.  It seems that I’ve only allowed time for the normal mundane of life and not taken the initiative to incorporate those aspects of my existence as a fledgling podcast novelist into the normal stream of time.  Even when moment after moment presented itself, I would either find something else to do, or just simply do nothing at all.  Quite disheartening to say the least.  Ancillary to this state of wallowing, I haven’t slept well.  I feel like I haven’t gotten a good nights sleep for weeks. 

 
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 Of course, as I finally sit to suss out what is going on in my “other career” as minor as it is, I realize that not only did I have the definition of ‘wallow’ wrong, but ‘suss’ apparently isn’t a word or at least the ‘Visual Thesaurus’ doesn’t know it. “What’s wrong with me!”

 Suss is actually a slang term in wide use in Britian and Canada meaning to investigate, find out, capture, etc. and ‘is’ in the dictionary.   And wallow isn’t even negative… it’s supposed to be a “happy occasion”  whereby porcine tumblers happily while away their time in the mud. So the negative connotations I have attributed to my state of wallowdom aren’t even accurate anyway.

 That’s alright chap, stiff upper lip and all that.  Sure. 

 You might say that, well, nothing was really going on during this period worth podcasting about and ‘that’s’ why you haven’t written anything or podcasted anything.

 Let me think…

 My oldest turned 18 (an adult!)
For her birthday, her mother and I took her to New York for the weekend (nothing worth writing about or podcasting about there).
You would be astonished at the amount of noteworthy gems that fall from the lips of my 10 year old, 13 year old, and 16 year old (who is dating now by the way).

 I won’t use it as an excuse, but there were other matters of import taking place. 

During this period also, we experienced big news and a shakeup within the podcast novelling world.  Those of you involved in the medium know that of which I speak.  A grandfather of the podcast novel medium leapt from the precipice (so to speak).  At least, that’s the affect it had on me as a neophyte podcast novelist.  I could spew forth a bunch of links about this and contribute to the general melee, but not only has that already been done by those more qualified than I, but I’m also choosing not to contribute in that manner for personal reasons.  As to the effect it had on me?  Well, “Shaken to the core” comes to mind.  Just ask my wife.  Having one of your great heroes ‘chuck it all’ so to speak.  If it weren’t for some other “rocks of the paradigm” out there making it happen, and you know who you are.  Well, I just want to say thank you for still being out there and doing what you do.  I’m still working through some of my emotions and feelings about the whole thing.  A lot of others out there have written extensively on the matter, and if you haven’t read about it yet, you can find it easily enough.  I’ve got my own take on not only his declaration, but what he’s done since.  If you want to know what I think, just ask.  I realize that there may be some of you out there who have no idea what I’m talking about.  If you’re one of these and are curious, go ahead and shoot me an email, I can explain.

 Another excuse I’ve told myself:  “Maybe you just needed some time to cool your jets and give your creative self a chance to rest for a bit.”

 Call me pig headed, but that sounds like a cop-out, even to me.

 As to where I’m at now.  I’ve finished the first draft of Subversion, Sacrifice, and Salvation, and it’s clocked in at a little over 62 thousand words.  I’m ready to start the editing process.  In fact, I’ve started editing it.  At least once or twice.  Time to make some actual progress.  I have at least 3-4 hours of Gutenberg press content recorded but not edited.  My recording and reading skills are improving. I mean, that’s the whole purpose of recording other’s content, build the skills so I can do my own fiction justice.  All of these things, I need to get back to.

 Maybe that’s why I’m doing this.  Writing this and podcasting it.  Maybe it’s cathartic, psychotherapeutic.  Maybe it’s a necessary step towards healing.  Yeah, that’s it.  Healing.  It’s just me getting’ my holistic groove on.  Yep, I’m currently on step 12 out of 24.  Maybe someday I can get some overpaid quack in a robe to call me cured and then I’ll be able to join society again!

 So, that’s why I’m sitting here, writing all this drivel.  I won’t be self-aggrandizing enough to call it baring my soul, or laying it all out there, but I will call it a swift kick in the ass.  Apparently, something I am deeply in need of.  Yep!  That’s me.  I’m the useless moron in every movie that the hero has to walk up to, cock back that perfectly manicured hand and ‘thwack!’ right across the face.  “I’m sorry, but I had to do that.” They always say.  Yeah, sure. 

 Of course, it’s at this time that you realize ‘you’re’ that guy; the moron who gets thwacked and not the hero who does the thwacking.  Ouch.  Why is that? 

 Have you ever watched someone walk away and known that as soon as they turned away, any reference to you they might have had in their consciousness completely left them.  Unless there exists a direct crossing of your paths in the future, be it work, or social, you don’t even really figure into their world.  But naturally, I digress. 

I gotta shake this melancholy funk.  It’ll drag you down if you let it. 

 Oh…  I feel a wild hair coming on. 

SYNAPTIC TANGENT!
And now:  It’s time for that odd synaptic tangent…   My synaptic tangents come in all shapes and sizes and range from the oddly insightful the fanciful and frightful.  Take them for what you will.

“How to remain socially relevant.”  For purposes of this tangent, a social energizer is anybody or anything that creates online energy around it.  Being part of a current social energizer is a sure fire way to produce website traffic and create social relevance.  But more often than not, you are on the periphery of the energizing event.  Siphoning off traffic that constantly circles an energized core.  Think of it in astronomic terms, wherein the socially energizing event is a gravity well of some sort creating gravitational force, and we are satellites, some with heavy gravitational forces of our own.

An example of this phenomena occurred recently with the Boom Effect.  A charity auction set up to benefit the young daughter of a podcasting great.  I won’t rehash the event here.  You can read about it on my website, see the show notes for the link. The Boom Effect Redux: http://www.jameskeeling.com/?p=195  This was a cause that I felt strongly about and I did what I could to help.  I podcasted about it, tweeted about it, participated on facebook, and I saw my traffic spike incredibly.  This was because I created a gravity source near the energizing event and some of the social relevance that circled the Charity Event temporarily circled my online presence.  Of course, this traffic was fleeting and quickly returned to the source, but I saw and felt it.  Honestly, it felt good.  Does that make me a leech?  I would like to think not as I believe I contributed to the event, even if only in my small way.

 That does bring up the question though of how to create energizing events that are strong enough to draw energy from the online community.  Social and community organizers create this critical mass by latching themselves onto events and causes.  Podcasters and podcast novelists do it by providing regular serialized content.  This is a subject that requires additional deep though.  Much too deep for this missive.  Perhaps I will write about that and podcast it.  Is this very podcast it?  Does this singular podcast represent the nascent creation of an energy nexus?  Maybe.  If it is, it won’t be because of me, it will be because of you, I mean, you’re the audience.  Or not.  Maybe it’s not you, maybe it really all comes down to me, I mean, it’s my future to make or break…  Whoa… too deep… Pull it back jimmy boy, pull it back a bit.

 Synaptic foray into the unknown now over!  Back to the podcast at hand.

In other words, back to my weeks of creative funk.

 The question then arises… what do I do now?  Is it really just a matter of “Getting back on that horse little buckaroo”  or  “Get off your lazy ass and get it done already!”

 Probably.  If left to my own devices, I sometimes tend to over think things a bit.  Of course, I’m good at that…  Momma always said do what you’re good at…

 Of course, there’s always KISS  – Keep It Simple Stupid.  Now those are words to live by…

 So that nagging question still hangs out there.  What do you do to get over a creative funk?  Well, for me at least…  I think, this was it.  This was what I needed.  Some kind words from my friends online helped, that’s for sure, but when it all comes down to it, it’s me and this keyboard.  It’s the outlet.  I guess I just had to turn the spigot…  even a little bit.  Just a trickle is all it takes I guess. 

 That must be that writing consistently thang everyone is always talking about. Hhhmm..  I guess they just might know what they’re talking about… imagine that. 

 I would like to take an opportunity to thank those in the social media world who have befriended me and in some cases, have kept me sane enough to be insane.  This included those few from facebook, twitter, and the boards at scottsigler.com.  You know who you are, but I just wanted to say that you’re appreciated and if you happen to be going through a down time, realize that I’m thinking of you.  Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t, but it won’t stop me from hoping for the best for you. 

Carman, Bill, Shirley, Vanessa, Pons, Paul, John, Jeanine, Beth, JP, Stephanie, Renee, Kali, Kate, Thomas

There are more, but to mention them here isn’t really going to make much a difference. 

 Well, I guess I’ve rambled on enough.  Besides, as Mur would say… I should be writing! 

 p.s. After writing this tidbit, I slept, as I often do.  I woke up this morning refreshed.  Actually feeling like I’d slept.  It was a welcome change. 

 I placed the play podcast embed towards the top of the post to have it appear above the “more” tag.  It appears that placing another one here at the bottom is problematic.  To play the podcast from the embed, please do so from the links up top. If you know how to “not do it this way”, please let me know.

Website = www.jameskeeling.com 
email = james@jameskeeling.com
Boom Effect Redux = http://www.jameskeeling.com/?p=195

 Thanks for listening, and maybe I’ll see ya tomorrow.

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